Joy Will Follow

Saint Thomas Aquinas addresses the question of whether joy is a virtue. Now I don’t claim to be a Thomist, but his response is that joy is actually not a virtue but an effect of charity. It is a result of love.

And I think this checks out in our daily lives, especially with kids.

You could fall into the trap of saying things like “be happy” or “just fix your mood.” But you can’t command joy any more than you can command height. Even in my own life, whenever I feel like I’m in a funk and I’m not joyful, it’s hard to turn that around. It’s hard to make yourself feel something.

Not that joy is a feeling—to Aquinas’s point, it’s an effect. And we can’t ignore the cause.

In my own life, when I am in that funk, my spiritual director gave me advice that I try to keep in mind: look outward.

And I think that’s what Aquinas is getting at. When we look outward—when we look at other people, when we look toward God—and think “How can I love? How can I serve? How can I will the good of these other people in my life, God included?”—that is what brings about joy.

It’s not something we can manufacture. It is a result. It is a byproduct of a life of love.

So when you find yourself in that funk, when joy feels far away, don’t focus on trying to feel joyful. That’s like trying to fix the symptom without addressing the cause.

Ask instead: Who can I love right now? Who can I serve? Where can I look outward instead of inward?

Joy will follow. Not because you forced it, but because love produces it.